autumnintheoc

We all have our lives, our day lives and the private lives wi have within, I protect my private life, it includes my/our future life with my GirlFriend, my partner and lover. But my precious private life is hurting today, I am very sorry to say this, I may be being very stupid, I don't know, I so so so hope not. it would mean that i have gotten very lazy, and I am not generating respect by those who I thought had respected me, I need to sleep now.

Sometimes I think that I am losing my mind. Sometimes that is ok, somethings I wonder what I am forgetting.

i think that we are about halfway back,  A is driving, I am doing mindlesss things in the passenger seat. oppsie, this is mindless you think?
no it is not. it is all I can do  right now, I am exhausted.

I love that girl. I do I do.  I wish she wasn't so bothered by the move, I also wish I could comfort her somehow.  I have tried a lot of things. i am at my wits end about it. It is impossible to ignore.

I am getting excited by it, being close to FA will be interesting and fun,  I am not completely sure why, the dancing will be fun. It is more isolating for me than OC, the inland empire is a mystery to me. I know much more about anaheim and pomona than I do anything out there, yes I can see perhaps how scary this is for her. It is to me as well. Alone out there would be very very difficult. I cannot imagine it at all my mind is a blank.

I have to see what I can do for her, bye for now.

I'm worried, serious worried. my girlfriend and I are supposed to move, and while we should be feeling great about it, we are both feeling something else, she is very worried about it not working out, and i am worried about her.  She is acting very different these days, the edges of her comments to me are not like they once were at all.  I get the distinct unmistakeable impression that she has some built up resentment towards me or perhaps others ? everyone ? I do not know. It comes out when we are alone and talk, I am shocked sometimes.  She is a great person, I love her deeply, i am very proud of her and of us, I am not sure where the resentment is coming from. It is hard to ignore and so very obvious when I do.  but I want to make this work and us work, I'll just take it in stride.  now I am thinking we should not move, the cost of doing so might damage us too much

I am also not fond of having to read her journal to find out what is really up with her, we talk all the time, or we used to, I guess. I am feeling very sad about all of this. These are not things I speak of lightly, I really want to just put her across my knee and spank her and put a cowbell collar on her and chain her to the inside of the barn like the milkcow she is. that idea is becoming fonder each day.

 

Autumn

I just got done sucking on my girlfriend's breasts, we are going to work on this until she produces lots of milk, I'm going to be doing this 2 or 3 times a day.  I can't wait, I think I'm already addicted to her milk, she produces a little right now, this is going to be a big change, I know what's going to happen, if I can't get her milk at the same time each day, I'm going to go a little nutty, she will too with all of that milk dripping out of her nipple, this is making my clit hard right now i have to stop

well hello.

this is my first time in my blog.  I cannot type much, we have to go out and drop off more rv parts and money to fix the beast.

i would much rather sleep believe me. A just told me 'you need more slee......'  and I do I really do, by the time I get to bed I am exhausted, way beyond just tired, and it's been this way for weeks now, not good.


I really want to help get us some biz, it's been dead dead slow. luckily I happen to be able to handle it for the both of us right now, but I cannot forever.  It'll be fine, it is just stressful right now.


well I have to go, the repairguy is pissy already.  see you later, Auttie